Let You Down
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: Isabella has a recurring nightmare that leaves her doubting herself. Set somewhere in the later half of the series but before the finale.


**Title: Let You Down**

**Summary: Isabella has a recurring nightmare that leaves her doubting herself. Set somewhere in the later half of the series but before the finale. **

**Author's Note: Spoilers ahead for series three.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Robin Hood BBC._**

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_I walk slowly into the crowd of villagers outside the castle. They are laughing and dancing together – happy. Something good must have happened before they are singing so joyously. Most of the time these meagre peasants have nothing to be happy about. They need to work all hours of the day just to try and make a living. I don't really care so long as the taxes are paid. I walk closer but nobody sees me. Everyone just looks right through me as though I'm not even there. I wave my hand in front of a blond woman's face but she doesn't even notice._

_It's then I notice the bonfire burning in the background. I walk over to it quickly and my jaw drops. A small gasp escapes my lips as I see myself lying in the centre of the flames. I am looking at a dead version of myself. These villagers are celebrating my death._

_"Isabella…!" the whisper comes from somewhere behind me. I spin around anxiously trying to find the person speaking. All I can see is a blank wall. I cast around fearfully and realise I'm trapped in a small room with cold stone walls. There are no doors and no windows. The room feels strangely small; it's almost as if the walls are closing in on my slowly but surely. Out of the corner of my eye I see someone dashing behind me. I turn around quickly, trying to follow them but I can't see anything other than flashes just outside my vision. The room seems empty but I know I'm not alone. I also know I've been to this place before. I come here every night. I don't want to but I come regardless._

_"You're a murderer," the voice says. Then there is laughter._

_"Stop it!" I cry out, "I never killed anyone!"_

_"So many people die because you're an unfit sheriff! The people need help!" he says._

_I recognise the voice suddenly. "Hood! What gives you the right to say that?" I demand with fury in my voice. I reach for my sword at my hip and find it's not there. I look down and my heart starts hammering. I'm defenceless. The outlaw wouldn't kill me though, will he? I am doubtful._

_"This what you're looking for?" comes another voice. My blood freezes as I spin around and see my own brother staring at me with bitter hatred in his pale eyes. He is swinging my sword loosely in his hand in front of me. I watch the slow movements as though hypnotised._

_"Guy," I say quietly._

_He smirks at me, "Isabella."_

_"Why don't you just kill me now?" I ask coldly as he watches me._

_"If I'm stuck in this hell, I'm not letting you out," he tells me harshly before slowly walking around the room to where Robin is standing the corner. I can see him now. The outlaw has a burning hatred in his eyes. He should love me! He shouldn't be looking at me like that. We should be together._

_"You're losing everyone, Isabella," Robin states bluntly. I flinch slightly as his words cut into me. "You lost everyone long ago."_

_I open my mouth to say something but the words don't come out. How can he say that to me? How dare he? He's an outlaw! I'm the sheriff! He should respect me!_

_"No point denying it, Isabella," Guy tells me._

_"Isabella!" says a new voice – one I haven't heard in many years, "What are you doing? Why did you let it go this far? I'm disappointed in you!"_

_"Mother, please!" I beg as I watch her gliding towards me like a phantom._

_"You've let me down, Isabella," she says harshly._

_"But it was Guy! He sold me to a man I hated!" I insisted. This wasn't my fault! None of it was because I'd made mistakes. It was all my brother._

_"You're a failure, Isabella. If you were worth finding a decent husband for, it would have happened. You aren't. You're a failure," Mother says coldly. There is no love in her eyes. She doesn't care about me anymore._

_"Let me out of here!" I demand as I start to feel more and more claustrophobic. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can hardly breathe. Robin, Guy and Mother are right beside me now. They're each holding a sword to my throat. "Let me go!" I scream frantically. It can't end like this! It can't! They should all love me._

_"Failure."_

_"Murderer."_

_"Coward."_

_They repeat the words over and over getting louder and louder. I put my hands to my ears and screw my eyes shut. I can still hear them though. It's like they're inside my head rather than surrounding me. "Stop!" I yell, "STOP!"_

I sit up abruptly, tangled in my bed sheets. My heart is still hammering against my ribs. My nightdress clings to my sweaty body. I look around in fear. I am alone. There is nobody here. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. I'm all right.

I can't help wondering if it really is just a dream. Is there an ounce of truth in it? Am I really a murderer? A failure? A coward? I kill when I need to in order to protect myself. I've made a living for myself here so surely I'm not a failure. Is it true though or am I just kidding myself.

"I'm sorry Mother. I've let you down," I whisper and bury my head in my hands and cry because I'm lost, afraid and alone. I've never been so alone before. There are so many people here but none of them love me. I am hated. I sob until I have no tears left to shed but I still feel just as bad. Why did everything have to turn out this way?


End file.
